Carley turns 3!

Happy Birthday Carley!

This little girl is the sweetest in the world...to me anyway. I was so lucky to be able to go to NY to celebrate her 3rd birthday with her. A friend of mine gave me a "buddy pass" so I was able to fly super cheap and go for the weekend. I would never pay full price to go for just the weekend but for $99, how could I say no!

We went to the beach! It was so beautiful, I appreciated every minute of it. We werre only able to stay a short time but it was so great to just be there.

Vincent had a great time trying so hard to skip rocks. He got a little frustrated but eventually got one to skip. He is a very determined little guy. It was a full weekend with a softball game (t-ball) party planning and visiting with family. I really enjoyed my time there. It had been over a year since I had last visited NY and I hadn't realized how much I missed it till I had went back. I had a fantastic 3 days there.

The birthday girl enjoying the trampoline.

Me and Carly at Vincents game

Carley and Vincent "marching" with their Amercian flags in the front yard of thier new house.

It was a busy weekend for this little birthday girl. I hope she has as much fun as her Aunt Karyn did.

Taking time to breathe....

"The Blue Olive" Strawberry, AZ

I ran away last week...just for a few days up my favorite hwy....Hwy 87 that is. I found an adorable cabin in Strawberry to rent out and had a fantastic time. I was only there for 2 days but it was refreshing and relaxing. I took the dogs and spent most of our time out doors. We went on a bunch of hikes and nature walks, played in the large yard, and I went horseback riding. That was definitly the highlight of my trip. It was so much fun. I took a two hour ride from the Kohl's ranch stables and really enjoyed being with nature.

"Edgar"

It was so lush and green and I loved seeing this water fall. My guide was awesome and let the horses run through the creek. They splashed around which got us wet but for a HOT day in Payson it was very well received by both of us.

I am happy to have found a replacement cabin for escaping the desert. It was nice to visit and not have to worry about the stress of running a second home. This little cabin was cozy, clean and ideal for a little getaway....I will visit again for sure.

Farewell sweet cabin

My "goodbye" visit to the cabin was wonderful. Of course there was some sadness too but I was really able to enjoy the time spent there. I spent a lot of my time just being quiet...listening to the wind in the trees and enjoying the beauty I was surrounded by and being mindful of my 2 years connected to this place. I will miss it very much. I cried a little, but not as much as I anticipated. I went on a lot of walks with the dogs, read and journaled a ton, inspected every corner of the property trying to remember each tree and rock and slope of the landscape. This place was magical for me. I loved having a little cabin in the woods to escape to, But I love more the vision of being debt free. It is all part of my plan towards simplicity and I am getting there.

With each passing day I am getting closer and it feels really great. Although I loved my little cabin, letting it go was a big step for me. it was accepting the fact that it did not "fit" in my life. I don't have any regrets about buying it. I know that everything happens for a reason. A big part of accepting and realizing how I want to live my life came to me during my quiet time on that front porch. It is really amazing how down time, quiet time will allow us to be more in touch with who we really are. I feel so much peace about where I am right now, and it feels great!

Hurt, sadness & betrayal...

Wow, what a month April has been. I will be very happy to see May first. As I said in my last post April is a month of acceptance, well, with that still being true as I am trying desperately to heal and move forward from losing at love, I am faced with a new challenge. I am dealing with a situation at work that has just about done me in. I feel so completely weak. I don't know who to trust and it has left me feeling so very alone. It also makes me feel sad, really sad. I have tried my hardest to create a fun, productive & positive work environment at my store. I work very hard and work very long hours. Although this is not the job of my dreams I do the best I am able. One of my associates, who chose to remain anonymous, put in a complaint about me saying many things that are not true. This hurts me to the core. Because I don't know who it is makes it even worse. I walk around my store "pretending" everything is fine because that is what I was directed to do. Meanwhile, every employee I walk past leaves me wondering..."was it you?" Of course I have my educated guesses about who it may be, I don't know if I will every know for sure. I need my job right now, so walking out is not an option although it is what I want to do more than anything. Logistically I was trying to hang tight to this job for at least another 6 months to accomplish what I am trying to with my finances. But this makes me wonder if its worth it. The hardest part of it all is being alone. Although I normally like having a quiet home to come home to after work, this week I would love to have a partner to come home to, cry to and talk to about this horrible situation. Someone who truly knows my heart. I am left to deal with this as best as I can. In addition this weekend is my "goodbye visit" to the cabin. I am looking forward to getting away, especially after all that has happened at work this week, but pulling out of that driveway when the weekend is done is going to be extremely emotional for me. I will deal and move forward as best as I can, and try to keep my head held high in the process. Thanks for all your love and support my dear blogging friends, I appreciate it.

For the love of nature...

I got this link from a friend of mine and found it to be fascinating! For those of you who and appreciate nature, I am sure you will find it quite amazing as well. These folks are so lucky to have been able to witness this diplay of nature....enjoy!

http://community-2.webtv.net/Velpics/HUM/

These are some roses from my garden I thought I would share. I love that I am getting enough blooms this year to actually bring some in the house to enjoy.

April is a month of acceptance...

April is turning out to be bitter sweet for many reasons. A month of acceptance, a month of changes and challanges for me. I have accepted an offer on my cabin. We are still in the inspection period so I am not allowing myself to 100% accept it, because it could still change but it looks solid so far. It is scheduled to close at the end of the month. Again, another bitter sweet goodbye. For those who really know me and even for those who just know me through my blog can tell how special that place is to me. I am going to go back up for one last weekend, a "goodbye" visit so to speak. It will be tough but it is all part of my overall financial plan. Aleviating this payment will help me so much on a month to month basis.

I have had some time over the past few days to enjoy the weather and be outside a lot. This is when I am happiest. I have done some yard work so my yard is looking much better and much more enjoyable to be in. On tuesday I went for a drive. I was feeling very trapped in town and needed to get some air and get out of "stucco land" so I headed east towards Canyon Lake. I found a beautiful spot to rest and admire natures spplendor in this display of wildflowers. I instantly felt my body relax. Here are some pictures from my travels...

The sweetest of love stories...the saddest of goodbyes...

My fantastic but short relationship with John has come to an end. It is extremely bitter sweet. The love was strong, true, passionate, sensitive, loving, kind, gently and oh so sweet. And to be honest, it still is. The love is not gone for me, not sure it ever will be. The relationship ended because our lives were moving in different directions. As he says..."Our paths crossed but did not parallel". It was a good ending, as good as an ending can possibly be. I miss him very much and feel very sad. I am not yet at a point where I can go a day without some tears. I know at some point I will be, just not yet. We are both very grateful for the wonderful time we had together and feel we are better people because of it. I know that is definitely true for me, I am a better woman because of this love I got to be part of. He taught me how to love again, how to be open and willing to give and receive true love. He is an amazing man and I am so thankful I got to spend 4 months of my life with him. Thank you John for loving me like no man ever has.