Hurt, sadness & betrayal...

Wow, what a month April has been. I will be very happy to see May first. As I said in my last post April is a month of acceptance, well, with that still being true as I am trying desperately to heal and move forward from losing at love, I am faced with a new challenge. I am dealing with a situation at work that has just about done me in. I feel so completely weak. I don't know who to trust and it has left me feeling so very alone. It also makes me feel sad, really sad. I have tried my hardest to create a fun, productive & positive work environment at my store. I work very hard and work very long hours. Although this is not the job of my dreams I do the best I am able. One of my associates, who chose to remain anonymous, put in a complaint about me saying many things that are not true. This hurts me to the core. Because I don't know who it is makes it even worse. I walk around my store "pretending" everything is fine because that is what I was directed to do. Meanwhile, every employee I walk past leaves me wondering..."was it you?" Of course I have my educated guesses about who it may be, I don't know if I will every know for sure. I need my job right now, so walking out is not an option although it is what I want to do more than anything. Logistically I was trying to hang tight to this job for at least another 6 months to accomplish what I am trying to with my finances. But this makes me wonder if its worth it. The hardest part of it all is being alone. Although I normally like having a quiet home to come home to after work, this week I would love to have a partner to come home to, cry to and talk to about this horrible situation. Someone who truly knows my heart. I am left to deal with this as best as I can. In addition this weekend is my "goodbye visit" to the cabin. I am looking forward to getting away, especially after all that has happened at work this week, but pulling out of that driveway when the weekend is done is going to be extremely emotional for me. I will deal and move forward as best as I can, and try to keep my head held high in the process. Thanks for all your love and support my dear blogging friends, I appreciate it.